Name: Nathan Age: currently, 23 1/2
Gender: male
Occupation: currently, a student Interests: music, computer games, stories, theatre, experiencing God as Real
Interests:Being patient, composing my own music, the wonderful world of theatre, teaching, and finding meaning at its only possible source - God Himself. Expertise:Music, conversation, swing dancing, espresso drinks, and random facts about animals. Occupation:Other Industry:Entertainment
I am in a very different situation now than I was last year coming here, and I can't help comparing the two. Last year, I was a stranger here. I didn't know how to get to Wal-Mart. I didn't know how to get to the grocery store. I didn't know how to get to the beach. I had no friends here, and I only had a church because my job was there. I also was in a relationship with a wonderful girl, and although it was long distance, we were happy to have each other, even across the miles.
This year, I know where Wal-Mart is. For those of you who want to know, it's too far away for the convenient trips we usually associate with Wal-Mart. You want convenience? Go to the nearby Rite-Aid or Walgreen's. Or the grocery store, which I can also now locate. Several, actually: Food Lion, Farm Fresh, Harris Teeter, take your pick and Virginia Beach has it. I know how to get to the beach, too, two different spots. I also have friends: one year hasn't been enough time, but since when is any amount of time enough to get to know friends? I also like my church, and even have moved into a greater position of leadership there (and God help me, because when I say "greater," I mean "daunting"). I also no longer have that relationship with that beautiful girl. That might be the biggest change from last year to this.
I feel older. Sometimes I just feel old. I am twenty-four. That, somehow, feels terribly old. Like I'm spent. My parents tell me that feeling old at my age is silly (though they love me in spite of my silliness), and that I still have the majority of my life before me. Cerebrally, I agree. But... you can't help what you feel.
Not being one for sports analogies, I'm surprised to feel one welling up inside of me. Here it comes: this next school year feels like stepping up to the plate and looking my second year at grad school--the pitcher--straight in the eye. I don't know what he's going to throw me, but I'm here. God's put me up to bat. I'm here, and by golly, I'm going to snarl and bare my teeth and swing away.
Too old for this, at least. Why do I always think, "All that back work? Bah! I'll just pull an all-nighter"? Stupid, stupid, stupid. For those of you in other time zones, my desktop clock currently displays 2:19 for the Virginia Beach area. Funny thing, too: just three minutes ago I was complaining about how I didn't want to finish my work, I didn't want to be up... and now that my work is over, I'm blogging. Still up.
Yes, life is full of irony.
People like to complain. People like to gripe. People like to find faults in everything, even in their own selves, and then they like to stay up until all hours of the night blogging about it.
Well, the long-awaited results are in, and the decision is final: I am indeed coming to Dayton at midnight Friday morning, the 19th of December. God works all things together for good all the time, but this time it actually FEELS good too! I will be with Lindsay, I will see my family, I will finally meet the infamous Sarah Baker, and I will get to see my dear brother and sister graduate from college!!! Thank You, God, so much for allowing this wish to come true. It won't be for a very long time, but it will be good. I love You anyway, but today You've made it easy for a while.
Now please, if You would just help me to get all of my work done on time for the semester...
Why is it that whenever it comes down to the wire, the most desperate part of the semester, THAT is when my brain decides that it does not want to do homework?
Well, truth be told, it's more my heart than my brain. My brain would get engaged pretty quickly if only my heart would allow it. It's just that I don't want to...
And how silly is that? I'm here, online, delaying doing work that will only end up being good for me. Even sillier, I know that I will probably enjoy the work once I get into it! What am I waiting for?
(It seems like several of my posts for this semester have sounded similar to this. Hmm. I must investigate.)
